Hearts Locked On a Chain

Yes, I confirm it. The person I'm inlove with me share the same feelings too. But I don't know how to unlock this chains on my heart to completely let her in.

As I have said, my heart is very vulnerable and I don't know if those chains will be opened, there is a very big possibility that it'll get hurt.

You know, I get the feeling that I've always loved my ex. As what they say, First love never dies. But I have to live the now. And I will do that by loving my beloved.
<3

What music are you listening to today?

ROCK, METAL, and some love song :)

Ask anything that deals within the random world

If you were offered the job of U.S. president would you take the job?

NO, it's big responsibility

Ask anything that deals within the random world

What's the secret to happiness?

LOVE <3

Ask anything that deals within the random world

Who and when was your first kiss?

Not yet :))

Ask anything that deals within the random world

If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which would you choose?

Rollingstone :D

Ask anything that deals within the random world

If you had to cook dinner for someone tonight, what would you make?

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Ask anything that deals within the random world

Who's the most famous person you've met?

Lady Gaga :)

Ask anything that deals within the random world

I'm In Love :)

Two years of my heart in a freezing point. I finally understood of where I stand and I learned a lot of mistakes and will never do it again...

Now, I'm in love with someone... I'm so IN LOVE! Well, If I can only say it to her, then I will but I'm afraid of the things that I will receive in case, the feelings would be different. Now, it doesn't matter to me if I'll be hurt because I'll do anything to love her and let her be mine if she'll let me :D

Hell, I never expected to fall for her this fast. But once I'm in love, it'll fill up my inner conscience and will spill out soon. Just like now, I'm jealous of her with her friend even though I know that they are having a close friendship.

One day, I'm going to confess to her and I'll never regret it. If ever she'll not accept my feelings, I have to face the truth and try to move one.

You will be hard to forget because you gave me the hope to love and protect someone I care so much. You made me learn how to accept pain and how I always keep my poker face but you're there to make me express my emotions. I'm inlove with you...

Somehow, I have a feeling you love me too...
<3

Being Alone

Being alone doesn't mean you want to be out of the crowd. It means you love silence and isolation because you don't get bored actually. The like to be alone because they need a time to reflect and think of the things they did. When people say that I want to be alone, they think the person is arrogant and never wanted to be with them. The really misunderstood the concept that they have. In my case I always wanted to be alone in the classroom because I can concentrate more and can think properly. Some classmates of mine say that I'm too far to reach because of that. I love being alone because I can be myself most of the time.


People also describe people who are alone as "EMO" or "EMOTIONAL" which is NOT. They just need time to reflect on the things that they have done. I feel strange when I searched in google about pictures of being alone. The results were people curling up in a corner crying or standing in an empty room. Pictures are black and white which indicated darkness and loneliness. Being alone is not always that. Hopefully they would sometimes see that we are born in this world alone. We work alone, and die alone. Although we have friends, they will always come and go.

I'm Fixed At Zero

I always remember that song by Versaemerge because it always remind me of my temptations that I had through my life... Well, there will still be more to come but for now I guess you can say that I had once did a temptation...

It sucks knowing that you did everything at your will just to protect your someone and yea...

Details will be here soon...

Make sure to hear the Song "Fixed at Zero" By Versaemerge I'm sure you'll love it

Mistakes...

I just can't get this topic out of my head. It's very common yet, a lot of people don't understand what a simple mistake can do to you... As you can see, when I was waiting for the dismissal, it suddenly popped out of my mind. I was like, mistakes... so I sorted out things and tried to make it more simple for you people who always makes mistakes.

According to wikipedia, Mistake is an error which is very correct in a logical way. In my own opinion, mistake is the most common things that happen within human beings. It also happens naturally in life. If you don't have any mistakes then you're abnormal because humans are not perfect.

There are 2 kinds of mistakes, 1st is the renewable/mild mistake and the 2nd one is the permanent mistake/serious mistake.

The mild or renewable mistake is a kind of mistake that you can change the wrong things to right. For example: You had a fight with your friend, and you know that it's your fault, then you say sorry and everything would be alright.It's a very simple mistake that can be renewed or rewrite. It doesn't harm your life exactly. Just minor mistakes that can also lead to permanent mistakes. It's up to you actually on how to deal with the mistake.

The permanent/serious mistake is a very important factors when you have big depressions about life and everything. It forever remains in your memory, changes your life forever, it will bring you shame and soon, you'll regret that mistake. Regret is the feeling that you will have after committing such big mistake.

We can all avoid this you know, if we all just try to be rational, and not get to be so touchy with our feelings then we can avoid this. But human as we are, we are not perfect. There are times that we are feeling that we are that high and we commit mistakes but never see it. Sometimes, I can see myself as this person who made a big mistake in my life and I did not regret it. Though I see this person everyday, I always wanted to let her know that I need to be away from her because I don't want to commit the same mistake again and I don't like to see her because the pain is there... and it is still there. I don't know when will I ever get over you.

Virus Week

I'll elaborate that later... Anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys for those who are always here on my blog even though you don't comment, it's a big thank you from me who is just ranting about different things. So, now in my topic.


I had a lot of viruses this week, literally... First of all, my computer was a such a dope. I cannot believe that my PC who has been with me for almost Seven Years suddenly had a virus. My computer was restarting even though I chose to Shut it Down. Well, my dad is not here at the country because he's working abroad. He's always the one fixing it now that he's not here, I'm having a hard time here because I'm not used to this job. Fixing the computer and destroy those viruses. It seems that I am not an experienced person but I still emailed my dad about this situation and gave me advices on what I should do for this problem. You know that I'm just a sixteen year old teenager who only knows about playing with games and fixing things on my own. I just don't like someone to fix my own problems. I feel disappointed with myself if I am not the one fixing this problem I started. So, right now I'm cleaning the hard drives up and perhaps this will help my PC that will work out. I'm really hoping or else I have to re-install the OS again which is quite a bad thing for me. >.< I'm too lazy for that.

And then, there is this classmate if mine who had colds. and you know already what happened. I eventually got infected. Now I'm having fever and colds. I don't want to give up because I will feel sickly if I won't let my mind work.

Everything has been quite a hassle for me but it's okay as long as you can be good for it. And for those people who don't have a good anti virus , I advise you to have free virus scanners and then scan and delete those virus as soon as possible or else you could end up like me.

Seven Days 'Til School Time Again

Goodbye to the monitor, keyboard, iPod, Online games. Don't worry... I'll make up to you every weekends.

And yeah... it's just in the title. I just want to say that schooling is fine but our school is just different from other schools. People say it's a negative one but for me, it seems the difference is a positive one. Like what every proverb you hear, "Today you might be suffering but for tomorrow it'll always be a good one" It's also like what you reap is what you sow. Because in our school, you need to do a lot of hard work and some of my classmates say that they are very tired and stressed because of it. When they ask me if I'm tired, I would just say no, because this is what makes this a challenge. I always think positive when it comes to things in school but I also have a lot of flaws in school. I guess you can say that. First flaw is that I'm lazy. and I mean VERY LAZY. Although I listen when the teacher discusses my problem is that I don't make assignments, and don't study. Still I get the good grades... Once a teacher told me that I'm miraculous because of the periodical exams that I had were pretty good ones. There was also an another teacher who told me, that U have this switch mode. There are weeks that I'm active and there are weeks that I don't have the mood to participate in activities. The fact that I'm lazy is the one that's blocking my way to success. You know what I mean.

I promised by myself that for this last school year, I'm going to be not lazy anymore and do what I'm supposed to do as a student. This is my last year as a highschool student and I should be responsible. I know that the school is going to make me pressure since that was they said the last time during the last day of my junior days. I know that I can do this and not be afraid of the subjects and all rumors about issues with different people. As you can see, Experience is the best teacher ever. So, it's better to experience pain, happiness, sadness, anger, and other emotions that we can feel. This school year is going to be a memorable one. I can just feel it. Also I'm proud that I'm one of the last batches of the school to be all girls since the first years have guys. Hopefully I can endure them and tell them to be a disciplined since I know that the class would be noisy. **sweats a lot** I don't know how to handle guys actually especially in the teenage stage.
I'm a lot of nervous about it but I'll do my best! I know that I can do this...

Sorry Is The Hardest Word

I guess I have heard that song by the ever most famous Elton John. But what do you think about the title only? I was thinking of this line as a pattern of people can't say sorry because of two things: 1. Pride 2. Fear. When people starts to become a person you don't know. I can't even imagine. When some person is denying that it's their fault and won't say sorry, that was actually the PRIDE that's working. The opposite of having too much pride is being humble. It's okay to be humble at least you know where you are and that's when you can say I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. Most people especially on high positions, don't say sorry unless told to like little children being forced to eat vegetables instead of chicken.I tried once, when I did not say anything to the person I hurt. Actually I was thinking it was his fault why the situation happened. I never knew I hurt him. That's why I tried so hard to tell him I am so sorry before it's too late.


Next is FEAR. For example, you were ashamed of something that you did over the past years and yet you don't admit it. You are trying to say sorry but you're afraid of what will happen after that. It's a very sad situation. you're afraid of the future ahead. But whatever it is, it can still be avoided by reflecting often so that you will learn mistakes and will not be afraid of the situation anymore. Also advices can be asked if you want to control your emotions when saying sorry.

Who could have thought that this simple five-lettered word is going to be so hard to say? I guess it depends on what kind of lifestyle you're in... for me... I'd better say sorry than too late because it can make situations worse if you won't say anything after an argument.

The Kind of Love that Hurts the Most

What kind of Love hurts the most for me is UNREQUITED LOVE. According to Wikipedia,
Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. Also according to Merriam Webster Online Dictionary Unrequited defines as "not reciprocated or returned in kind."

I kind of relate of having these feelings... There is someone that I desire so much yet that person is soo far away to grasp. When you desire something and you just can't have it hurts so much. Much more keeping the feelings to yourself and later you'll become insane with the feeling that you have there in your heart. To love is to be hurt. I had this incident once, a person came into my life and I fell for that person deep. It's hard to keep my feelings because we were always together and everyday the more I fell into a deep hole. Until my feelings were like of a obsessive person that would do everything to have that but gladly it all stopped. I had to control myself knowing that person has someone to love and the person fell hard on that guy. They were already dating. It hurts at first. The first time that person told me that I cried the whole night and just wept until I fell asleep. It's not my fault to be so inlove and I don't want that person to hate me so I just kept my mouth shut and tried to move on. Something to desire is just so painful when you can't have it. I kept my feelings because it was for the best and I just wanted the person to be happy, even if the person he is with is not me.



That's why it hurts the most. unrequited love is the kind of love that I would not recommend to have not unless you are strong enough physically and emotionally. I guess that would be all for now. It's already 1:20 AM in my clock but I'm not gonna sleep yet... I'll be posting something later on.

Things that I love and Hobbies

Everyone has what they love right? it could be materialistic or in the aspect of relationships. 

The first thing that I can always remember is that I really love First Person Shooting Games or FPS games. Probably because of my dad who loves it also. I'm not really that good in playing but I'd rather say that is my hobby. The first game that I played was the original doom. Well I think I was at the age of 5 or 6. With the help of the mighty Joystick. (old times) As I grew up I loved to play war games like Medal of Honor and Call of duty and more. I also play online FPS games like K.O.S. Secret Operations or in Korea it's called Sting Online which was franchised by Level up Games Inc. It's like you're playing counter strike since they're using the same steam engine. 

Of course there is Music. My mom usually says that I'm so talented but I always deny that and I don't want to be praised. I first loved music when I was a child. Just senselessly strumming the strings and sing randomly and I just get the right notes. Anyway, I seriously took music when I was eleven. I used my father's guitar that has been with him for how many years and just made the first chord i've learned. which is A. Then I try to learn it all on my own but I still need to ask some adcise from my dad on what I should do. Most of the time, I learned it by myself. I tried to do some guitar lessons but it just did not work out. I get easily tired of all those finger exercises and I just wanted to get into the real thing. That was the last time I'll ever take guitar lessons.  I composed my own song when I was 14. Probably because out of boredom and I just wanted to take my music to the next level. I wanted to become a performer and just sing in front of the crowd. I love rock music and mainstream and I wanted to learn all of my favorite songs and sing it. Another proof of me loving music is me having a band. Which I will tell about it soon.

Everyone has their own hobby.

Random Thoughts

I'm just wondering... Ten years from now, what would I be like?
It's a very simple question but I can't answer it right now. When I was younger I can easily say that "I want to be a Dentist when I grow up" Well right now I'm going to be 16 and I don't know which path will I take. I can say it easily when I was young back then but now I am getting into the state of confusion of what career I will take.


My first option was being a dentist.
Of course that was my first choice but after I reflected of the career I had doubts about it. Being a dentist also means being a very good entrepreneur and must know how to deal with it. You need to have a very big capital to start a small business and you must need a lot of equipments. Sure I have thought of that but my parents can't afford that kind of course so I pass on that one.

Next option was being a Musician.
I lobe music as I love my parents and I wanted to have a career that is for a musician. I would love to have a band, and sign a record label, record songs, hear my songs on the radio, have a grammy award, tour all over the world. These thought were like a dream. That's what my father said. I wanted to become a composer and a song writer. That's what I really wanted. I want to school music and take it as my major course but I can't help my parents for that. Having a big music career is a matter of chance and luck. I still think this is the career that I wanted.

Last option was being a Physical Therapist
Yes my cousin wanted me to become one because she's all alone in the states and wanted me to become like her so yeah, I'll take that course.
It's not that I was forced to do this but this is for my family and for myself. I wanted to be a good girl to them and that's what I want. it seems that people these days are doing what they do not want. But me I have further plans after being a Physical Therapist. I wanted to school music in the US. Specifically in Boston where berklee College of music is there. SO there are still hope and luck for my career as a musician.

These are all random things that pops in my head everytime I reflect. So I may say that I'm still in the state of confusion so I hope that I can choose the right pathe that I will take.

Peace & love,
Osiris

Your Love Is My Drug | Valentines day, reminiscing that event

Yep... Sorry If I haven't even said... HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!.. haha... Belated anyway... Right now I'm addicted to the Songs of Ke$ha. She's one hell of a good artist that people compare her to Lady Gaga but Lady Gaga is more talented than her anyway. So now I'm gonna share about my Valentines day. It was still okay... my mom bought Roasted pork for us to eat and after that I did drums and after took a shower and did my Book Report. It was okay. I'm contented since I'm very SINGLE... 

Your Love Is My Drug is A song by Ke$ha that is so cool. I recommend you to listen it.

There was a time I remembered my past on February 14. I'd rather share it soon. but Not now.. :D

Losing Someone You Love| Lost|Acceptance

Sometimes, I can imagine of what my adviser would be when her Son/Daughter will be born. She will be a one awsome mom and a good guide for him/her but unfortunately 2 weeks ago January 29, 2010 she got admitted into the hospital and the child that she was bearing was all gone. When you lose someone you love and keep your child so healthy and suddenly becomes like that. I don't really like that ending.  but that happens... I can't blame God because maybe there's a blessing hidden in disguise for that situation. From what my classmates said. The cause for the baby to be miscarried is that the mother is having much stress because of physical, mental, emotionally unstable. It's such a sad news.... Now she is resting from going to school and I already miss her including all of my classmates. Now we have a substitute teacher but a lot of my classmates compared him to my adviser. Our substitute advisor is okay because she's one of our good teacher even though she's soft-spoken.

We prayed for our teacher's acceptance for what happened to her and hopefully she would be in our school for the next schoolyear...

Few of us in Class | Plus POINTS | ORIANTHI

Yes, you heard me right.. I can't believe that my class we were only few today... it was such a shocking event. Except for the YMA scholars of Course. It's because they made their own holiday. xD Well in fact it was a contest for those who reached the Quota of 40,000 php of tickets in each grade level. We were left as the only highschool available at the school. Lucky for me and my fellow punctual classmates. We were given plus points in our grade because we didn't make our own holiday... And we checked our test papers and it was a miracle that my papers had good scores... I DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL.. wow... haha (hugs myself) xD 

Also I now have a new obsession... and it's ORIANTHI PANAGARIS... she's a cool Aussie guitarist... and a good singer. She kinda reminds me of kelly clarkson. I listened to her albums Violet Journey and Believe and I totally digg it. Her cool riffs, guitar shredding, tapping, I got lots of NOSEBLEEDS from her...

Where I stated to discover was that when I saw the "This Is It" Movie which was only limited for watching for two weeks. She was cool and I first thought... 'WHO WAS THAT GIRL?!' She ripped beat it off... Black and white too. Also on Dirty Diana... Then After the movie I really waited for the credits to come and saw her name as Orianthi. After I got home, I researched on her name and that's when I discovered her. Right now she's one of my influences in my guitar skills and I'm inspired to be like her and overpass her skills. I also loved the new guitar PRS made especially for her... it's called a PRS SE ORIANTHI.. and damn i was moved away from it.. here's a picture of what her signature guitar looks like...

It looks expensive but it's actually affordable and I'm waiting for that to come here in the Phils. As you can see PRS guitars are expensive... and yea.. they are high class quality...

I dig her instrumental songs like in her believe album the Highly Strung with her duel duet with the ever famous Steve Vai. I'm really looking forward for her new upcoming projects to come and I hope she'll be a legend as what Mr. Carlos Santana Said. 

"It's not cute any more. It's seriously ass-whupping. If I was going to pass the baton to somebody, she would be my first choice." - Carlos Santana

Go Go Go ORIANTHI!

Tired... Study... Sinulog

Who wouldn't get tired of studying third quarter because in our school we have to study from first quarter to the third quarter... Usually I don't deal that much but since I'm already in grade 9, I need to study and it frustrates me because I don't like to study all over again. Anyway I just want to at least free me from this stress...

Some would like to cram well me, I sleep kinda funny cause i still get good grades even if i didn't studied. Now i'm still making myself relax and maybe on Monday, I'll study... I'll enjoy the Sinulog Festival Tomorrow.... 

Speaking of Sinulog Festival, I'm going at the Mango Avenue and watch the street dance and once again the streets will be filled by people and colorful costumes are there, also celebrities and politicians will promote for election. The important thing at the feast is that we celebrate Señor Santo Niño and thank him for all the things he has done for us.

That's all for now... Til nextime

Osiris

P.S. 

Who plays K.O.S. Secret Operation? tell me and I'll add you as a friend! :)