Year end reflection

So 2015 is coming to an end. Isn't it amazing? To be able to witness the coming of the next year and see the fireworks go out and kaboom! People cheering, doing traditions that they believe would give them good luck, people praying that someday they might be able to face the coming challenges that this so called 2016 will give at it.

This is nothing but and utter mess. An illusion that society is giving us that yes doing all those things increase the chances that you might "think" it would happen.

I am not saying that celebrating the new year is bad. What I am annoyed about is people who keeps on making promises and resolutions but in the end lacks the motivation to do it and be able to achieve what they can.

This year 2015 has been tough. I failed, I became depressed, overly frustrated for my own thoughts, was on the verge of killing myself but here I am today. I am still alive for some reason. That considering a lot of people died, why am I still here? Why are there trials? Why are there things we need to go through? Everything that's on my mind is WHY.

I've been trying to make sense of all these things. And when there are just deep stuff going on, my friends can't handle that kind of shit. Most people in my age are just party and drinking and thinking life is going YOLO. It's hard to talk to someone at the intellectual level of something that I wanted to. I get crazy sometimes.

So what is really life?

And so I end this blog this year with this reflection:

I know there is still something ahead of me but I do not know WHAT.
When uncertainty comes, we tend to stick to what we are comfortable of and that's what is NOT needed when you want change. Change happens when you take risks and then you will know yourself better.

I'll be facing 2016 with a greater challenge in my mind. I'm going to find the answers to my questions and finally accept for what has been done and move on a better and new me.